


Rock-It

by Nypnotist



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drama, F/F, Gay, LGBT, LGBTQ, Music, Romance, Slice of Life, rock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nypnotist/pseuds/Nypnotist
Summary: Mel had always thought of her apartment as her holy sanctum, a safe place just for herself.Until one brisky evening, where she sees a girl crying against the exterior of a bar and wants to help her out.When she wanted to help her out she didn't exactly have in mind to bring her to her apartment though, where they'd suddenly start living together.This is the story of a girl who was been quietly leaving in peace for quite a while, meeting a stranger with an unknown background who's about to change everything she's grown used to.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 5





	1. One

It had been a long time since it had been this cold in Fall.

The rain that had come down during the night now coated the roofs and benches of the city with an icy glistening layer, having people watch their step as not to slip on the polished footpath.  
My frosty breath hung in the air, dissolving like a slow moving cloud that didn’t want to immediately disappear. The corners of my eyes felt bitterly cold, almost causing them to tear up from the breezy air that hit me face.

It was just a day like any other, except it was just a bit colder than usual. People were coming back from work around this time, kids got picked up from school, or returned home by themselves or along with their friends. I myself was on my way back home after another day of work at the pastry shop I’ve been working at ever since I graduated university, 3 years ago

Compared to the shop’s warmth it was like a snowstorm outside, making me seek warm in the pockets of my jacket and burry my face in my scarf. The thought of coming back home filled me with enough excitement though to not be that bothered by the chilly evening though, after all—oh?

I stopped in my tracks as I noticed a slumped figure sitting against the exterior of a building, shivering and clenching what looked to be a purse. Her long hair that was draped over her shoulders hid her face for bystanders, but you could see she was silently sobbing every so often as her shoulders jerked up every few seconds or so.

  
The building she was leaning against was the RBGB bar, with loud music coming from the inside that didn’t seem to fit the girl’s mood much. Not sure what to do I slowly started to take a step forward again, noticing that everyone around us was too bothered to get home or do what they had to do to even give a glance. …I couldn’t just leave her like that in the cold, right? Maybe I should at least get her to get back inside somewhere?

The paper bag that was hanging around my shoulder dropped a bit lower as I bend forward, nudging the girl a little bit to get her attention. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve she looked up with a dazed look, as if she didn’t notice me standing in front of her.

“Hey, uhm, are you okay? Should I call someone?”

  
The girl, who seemed to be about the same age, still had the same out-of-it look on her face as she stared for a few seconds before stammering out a silent “please take me home.”

  
“Do you live around here?” I asked as the girl slowly stood up, holding herself up against the front of the building, not replying.

  
“Did you forget?” I asked again, not sure in what state she was. She at least seemed stable enough to stand up and hopefully walk a bit. She opened her mouth and paused a bit before giving a reply.

  
“No..I don’t have a place to stay.”

  
Urk. This might’ve been a really bad idea. But if she stayed here any longer she’d definitely get frostbite or just freeze to death outside, and I didn’t know whether or not there were some people around she knew. “…Would you like to stay at my place?” I couldn’t just leave her alone here like that, the guilt of leaving someone behind in this state would definitely haunt me. And I also sorry for her, why was she crying like that here in the first place?  
A small nod from her was the only reply I received, her head still hanging down.

  
“Okay. Can you walk?” I gently asked taking a step forward, but as soon as she did her entire weight shifted from one leg to the other having her almost fall over if I didn’t quickly put her arm around my shoulder. That’s how we walked all the way back to my apartment, which is relatively close to the bar, but it suddenly felt like it was way further because I now had a person to support in order to not have her fall over.

  
I’m not sure what I was thinking, I thought as my apartment came into sight. This was probably such a bad idea. We arrived at the steps.  
Letting a stranger into my home? One who’s clearly not exactly stable right now?

  
With a push the door opened, revealing the interior of the place I’ve been calling my home for many years. My holy sanctum. No one of my friends has ever visited or even seen this place, yet here I was standing with someone I barely even knew.  
I turned my face to look at her. Looking a bit better she silently stared in front of her, her arm still around my shoulder for support. I smiled a little as my previous thoughts faded away, I was sure it’d be okay. After all I didn’t know what could have happened to her if she stayed there. If these place was such a safe space for me, it’d be safe for her too to protect her from what happened back there. Not that it was necessarily something that bad, of course, but she’d at least feel better here than outside in this freezing weather.

  
“You can just sit here for a bit, I’ll go look for something to sleep on.” I said, guiding her to the bedside so I could go search around for something for her to sleep in.

  
I’m not exactly sure what I was looking for though, since I knew everything here was accounted for just one person. This was more wishful thinking than anything, so not finding anything was no surprise.

  
Walking out of the storage room I noticed the girl who was silently waiting on the bed had now fallen asleep, her chest gently heaving as she lay on the bed.

  
We’re both girls so I guess this is fine, right? I got myself ready for bed, getting under the covers as silently as I could while also covering the girl a bit so she wouldn’t get a cold. She was still wearing her clothes but had taken her shoes and jacket off earlier, so she should be okay.

  
While I thought this to myself my eyelids got heavier and my breathing stabilized until I drifted off into a deep sleep, hearing the soft breathing noises of the girl next to me.

  
***

  
Being surrounded by the silence and darkness in my room I could only focus on the unfamiliar body warmth I was now accompanied with. Other than that, everything was the same. This place that had been mine for so long now sheltered another person, but it was no different.

  
The ceiling I’ve always been looking up at, the sheer curtains that let the moonlight and sunlight shine through. The room that no matter how dark it was didn’t get scary. The feeling of warm hands and arms, that slithered around my waist. A light change in weight and warmth on my middle. Warm breathing that hit my neck, hands that wrapped around the buttons on my shirt and then came to a halt.

  
I don’t know when I started noticing it, or why I didn’t open my eyes before. And once I did, I saw the girl who was previously next to me was now on top of me, bending down and with her hands ready to unbutton my shirt. Hands that were waiting for consent.

  
I already had so many things that happened today for which I didn’t know any answers, and as my hands reached out to pull her closer to press her lips against mine, I thought, more questions wouldn’t really matter anymore, would they?

Her skin that had felt so cold to touch when I met her was now warm, almost burning as we touched. Her hands who had finished unbuttoning my shirt found their way to every place of my body, as if they entered a labyrinth they had become familiar with in just a matter of a few seconds. My satin shirt was tossed next to me, my arms feeling the smooth texture every so often, reminding me about where I was. But other than that, my mind and body were floating.

  
We didn’t do go any further than our waists. She kissed me, and I kissed her back while slowly running my hands into her hair that wrapped around my fingers. And I had no idea what I was doing or why, I just knew that I was kissing a person I only just met and let her see all these parts of me no one ever had before, and that I didn’t mind one bit.

Everywhere her hands touched me impressed a warm mark on me, as if her hands and my body met all over again each time. She hadn’t taken her top off unlike me, and it seemed she didn’t really want to get attention so much as she wanted to focus on the other person.

  
And I say the other person because I knew this was not specifically meant for me, aimed at me. It was probably just because I was the person that had taken her to my place. Because I was someone that gave her consent to do this. But I wasn’t one to throw any rocks as it was exactly the same case with me.

  
We were both in a daze, and through the passion and fervor of it all, that daze worked as an aphrodisiac.

And we just let it happen. Wrapped in her arms, my torso still in it’s exposed state, I fell asleep.

Surrounded by the walls of my beloved safe space, and the heat of this person of whom I didn’t even know the name of.


	2. Two

I was the first to wake up, making my way to the kitchen once I put on some clothes. The only things to be found in the kitchen were some leftovers from yesterday and cereal.

Poking my head around the corner I looked at the silhouette under the covers, still asleep. I wasn’t sure how much longer she would be sleeping, or when she would be leaving. Throwing on my woolen coat I took one last glance at her before heading out, leaving the door unlocked.

While I went to the grocery store around the corner I thought about all the possible consequences of having done so. After all she could easily steal my possessions while I’m out, if they’re small things I probably wouldn’t even notice.  
I picked up some eggs, bread, and a few other things that seemed good for lunch and dinner. The food I bought could serve for meals for two people, or for myself for two days. Since the convenience store was so close by I went about every two days, going there only took about 10 minutes, so I was able to go before work and still have enough time to eat breakfast beforehand, like today.

Though my boss didn’t really mind if I came in late, he and his wife both treated me as their own kid and even occasionally gave me some leftovers for free. I liked working at the pastry shop. Not because I’m particularly interested in pastries or baking, but mostly because of the people that came there and the overall atmosphere. There was no real work pressure, even on the busiest days, it was always nice to be there.

Whether I’d like to work there forever? …I’m not sure. I never really knew what I wanted to, unlike some of my friends that were chasing their dreams. For now all that mattered to me was that I at least didn’t agonize working at earned enough money to support myself.

Arriving back home I greeted some of the neighbors that were on their way to work or to school, pushing the front door with my foot and closing it. Facing the living room I saw the lights were out, though some candles were lighted. The girl wasn’t anywhere to be seen though so I just made my way to the kitchen, getting ready to quickly make some breakfast and head off to work.

Halfway through making an omelette I heard the door to the balcony slide open, turning my head to see the girl walking over to the table standing next to my bed and seating herself between it, leaning with her head on the bedside. She smelled a bit like tobacco, though not necessary an unpleasant smell.

We didn’t exchange any words as I continued making breakfast, giving her a plate as I finished mine next.  
“Thanks for the food.” She suddenly said after I picked up her plate and put it on mine, placing it next to the sink.

“You’re welcome.” I replied. She looked like she was feeling better, though not exactly happy. The daze hadn’t left her.

Remembering how I couldn’t slack off I put my coat on again that I had thrown on the bed.  
“I’ll be off to work.” I said as I buttoned up. “I’ll leave the door unlocked for you so you can leave whenever you want.”

“Okay.” I turned around to make my way to the door, only to be pulled down first as she gave me a quick kiss on the lips before letting me go. Not realizing what just had happened because of the quickness of it all I felt myself being frozen for two seconds before making my way to the door again as I originally planned to, hearing her softly chuckle behind me.

***

As usual, the boss didn’t mind me being a bit late. Though I did try to always be on time as to not make use of his kindness. Today was one of the calmer days, with it being a Tuesday. On Tuesday most people went to a certain shop that sold special pastries only that day. There was an intense history between the owner of that shop and my boss, with them trying to compete for the most fame and customers for years.

Eventually they had become good friends somehow and the tension toned down, now the shop I worked at didn’t have any special pastries anymore. Both because of the rivalry being gone, and the owner and his wife having gotten quite old. He occasionally tells me and customers about his past, back when he was “a young and fine gentleman.” They never had any kids due to putting so much work in the shop, that’s why they’ve always held me in their favor.

Being so far away from my parents who stayed back in my hometown, I appreciated having some family-like people around too. They had also offered me financial support several times, and often gave me leftovers from the store. It’s nice knowing you’ve got people you can rely on, even if you don’t ask for their help.

The time passed quickly and before I knew it I was on my way back home. Passing the RBGB bar I peeked inside, not sure what I expected. There were some people at the bar and some sitting around the tables, with music playing in the background. When I passed here the day before it was a bit later than now, since I had to clean-up and help with some other things before I could leave. It’s a lot busier in the evenings, though that’s usual for these kind of places.

I came back home, huffing a bit. I realized I walked back with a quicker pace than usual. Opening the door, the lights were on. The TV could be heard, and in front of it, the girl sat.

“Welcome back.” She said. I nodded. I wasn’t used to coming home like this, to a lively place. Sitting down on a cushion next to the table I absent mindedly looked at whatever was on the TV. The weather had caused my brown curls to get all frizzy, so I tied it up in a bun to get a bit comfortable.

“Hey.” She turned around to look at me. “What’s your name?” I asked. She seemed to look a bit uneasy for a moment, just a split second.

“Seira.”

I nodded. Noticing how I only just now realized that I didn’t know her name. “I’m Mel.”

She stared at me for a few seconds. “From Melody?”

I chuckled. “Just Mel.”

After the short name exchange we continued watching TV in silence, though not an uncomfortable one. I didn’t know much more about her other than her name, which I had only just learned. Whether or not I’d ever know more than that was up to her.  
And just like that, a few weeks passed. Seira stayed, with me leaving the door unlocked like I said so she could leave whenever she wanted. She helped a bit with the dishes and cooking, and helping around the apartment with cleaning and things like that. For the time being I managed with the money I earned at my job, but being the only one that paid for things made me change some things compared to when I lived by myself.

I wasn’t sure whether I could call this living together, but it essentially was the same with me having to take care of myself and her. I didn’t have the money or space to buy a second bed, so we just slept in the same bed.

She didn’t necessarily look depressed, but not exactly happy either. Some days were worse than others. There were times she’d look like she was about to cry, a lonely look in her eyes. One of the first times that happened I tried to console her, though not exactly sure what to do. I wanted to try helping her at least.

It reminded me of the first time we met, with her head down and holding her knees, as if she tried to make herself as small as possible.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked her, gently sitting next to her. At first she tried swallowing her sobs but eventually broke down into them as she sank to my chest. I held her for a few minutes, until her body seemed to relax a bit again.

As I let go she looked up, and I noticed the same look in her eyes as back then. And again, awaiting for consent which I eventually gave her. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t mind. Even though it was a totally out of character thing for me to do. The girl who had always idealized romance and never had a relationship before. This wasn’t exactly a relationship though, but it came close to being one.

I let her kiss me, my lips, the nape of my neck, my body. We never went lower than that. She groped my breasts and that was the first time I touched her too, instead of just kissing like we did that one time.

I don’t think I did it because I felt sorry for her. I didn’t do it out of pity. I did it because I wanted to, but also because I wanted her to feel better. This stranger who had become much less of a stranger in these few weeks. She had opened up a bit more recently, joking around and laughing more. She occasionally went with me to the store and we watched movies that aired on TV at times. The silence from before was a bit more filled up.

She also didn’t smell like tobacco anymore. She used the same shampoo and shower gel as I did, but it smelled a bit different on her skin. Her hair was straight, a lighter shade of brown than mine. We both had bangs, mine being curly and longer than hers.  
Her clothing style was more daring than mine, whereas I wore dresses and long coats with boots, she wore ripped jeans with a leather jacket and some band t-shirt.

We were two strangers, living under the same roof, with not much similarities other than using the same shampoo and having long hair. But It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know much about her.

Though I did wish she would maybe tell me, sometime.


	3. Three

During my break at work, I got a message from one of my high school friends. Well, several ones, but since I barely ever check my phone it took 15 messages to finally notice. I’m not exactly updated on all the news that’s happening either, but it never really bothered me. The private messages were from one friend, saying to look at the group chat we all created a few years ago.

“Hey!! Anyone up for meeting at the café today? It”ll be like old times!”

“The café we always went to? I’m in!”

“Sounds great.”

“Any reply from Mel yet?”

“Nope, I’ve send her some messages already though.”

“As usual lol”

“Oops, sorry guys.. That’d be nice though :)”

“Yay! See you guys at 6!”

Ever since most of them got jobs we’ve been meeting up less regularly, only going somewhere every few months or so. I’ve known them from back in high school and we never lost touch, so I’m looking forward to seeing them again.

I excitedly changed out of my work clothes and was ready to leave, saying a quick goodbye to the boss who quickly shoved a box of pastries in my hands before I left. I’m guessing he noticed I was happy about going somewhere and this was his gift, for which I happily thanked him.

Messaging Seira that I’d be home later I went off to the café, taking the bus.

***

It was probably strange to see a bunch of 26-or-so year olds squealing and running to each other, but that’s exactly what we all did.

The pastries were well received, and the topics ranged from our jobs to hobbies and other random things. It never really mattered what we talked about, it turned out fun either fun.

Apparently I was zoning out a bit, because they all expectedly looked at me when I realized I was out of it for a few seconds.

“Huh?”

Dawn sighed as the others laughed at my reaction. “Any updates on your whole love-life Mel?” She repeated with an exaggerated tone.

“Uhm..” I didn’t feel embarrassed about it or didn’t want to say it, I just wasn’t sure exactly what to say. “I’ve.. Been living with someone? I guess?” The last part being a bit muttered.

They all looked at me with disbelief and wide eyes.

“Wait, what.” Dawn said.

“With who?? How did you two meet??” Dozens of questions got fired at me, making me wait till they were done to try and give an answer.

“Well.. We kind of met by accident, they were sitting on the street and crying so I brought them to my place. And, uh, they’re still there?”

They still stared at me without saying anything.

“I guess it’s nice. Though I’m the only one with a job, I think, so I have to pay for everything. And I’m not sure if they’re actually happy there because they have this neutral look all the time? It’s been better lately but.. I haven’t really wrapped my head around it yet.”

Instead of just looking at me without saying anything they now gave each other suspicious glances.

“Do you know who they are? Where they’re from?”

I said I didn’t.

“Why they were crying outside?”

I said I didn’t, again.

“…Do you know their name?”

“Yeah, Seira.”

“Well.. That’s something.”

Dawn still had a suspicious look on her face, her eyes narrowed.

“Do you have a picture of them?”

“Uhm? Yeah I think so, wait.” I scrolled through my phone to look for a picture, though most of it being old pictures.

“Ah. Found it.” I showed them my phone, showing a picture of Seira posing next to the mascot statue of a green bird that stands in front of the convenience store. She’s making a rock and roll sign with her hand and sticking her tongue out, making me chuckle at the memory.

“She reminds me a bit of someone..” Dawn said, though not knowing exactly who.

“Anyways, you really should know more about her before just letting her in your house.” Bea sternly said.

“I never imagined you to even let someone in your house honestly, we’ve known you for ages and I don’t think anyone here has been inside? Have you?” She continued, the others shaking their heads.

“Have you guys done, like, the thing? Did the do?” Tabitha softly said with a grin.

“Did the do? –oh my god, are you 8?” I embarrassedly said, my ears turning red.

“Is that a yes?” She persisted, nudging me as I turned even more red.

“Ugh- stop, ok, yes!” I was ready to die right there and then. Admitting it and the flashbacks of everything coming back to me right at that moment.

They wooed and Tabitha continued nudging me as I further sank into despair.

“Okay but, seriously though, Mel.. It kind of sounds like you’re getting used? With the not paying stuff, her not saying anything,.. Just be careful okay?” Bea told me, to which I nodded.

Luckily, after this they dropped the subject and went on talking about other things.

It’s not like I haven’t thought about this before after all. Getting used. I may look like the airhead time, but I worry a lot more about things than people would think.

It just doesn’t feel like it. Something in me says there’s at least some sincerity in her actions. And even if I am getting used.. I’m not sure if I can go back to just living on my own like before. This place that had been mine for so long was now being shared with someone else, and had become adjusted to it.

***

It was already about 10pm when we said our goodbyes, the lights being out when I got back home. Seira probably went outside for a bit, I thought to myself as I went over to the bed. Sitting on it and just looking around for a few minutes I suddenly thought about my old hobby from back when I was in high school. Meeting up with my friends today must’ve made me think about it again, after so long.

I felt around with my hands behind the curtain, finding the fabric case and carefully picking it up. Zipping it open, I revealed my old acoustic guitar that had been stored away for ages.

The out-of-tune strings made me laugh when I strummed on them not expecting it to be that bad, tuning them while humming the right notes.

My fingers slid over the smooth steel strings. I used to have calluses on my fingers, but over the years it had gone back to normal. I played the guitar for what seemed like hours, remembering more than I thought, playing to songs I had heard on the radio. My fingers stung a bit after playing for so long, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

Playing so intently I didn’t notice Seira entering the room and sitting next to the bed, until I suddenly heard a soft humming next to me that slowly turned into singing.

It was as if I got enchanted by her voice, my hands moving on her voice. She had a rough voice, but not from being unrefined. It sounded so unique, perfectly blending with the guitar. I didn’t notice I had stopped playing until I suddenly blurted out “holy crap.”

Seira looked at me and turned red, quickly turning her face away.

“Wait don’t stop!!” I persisted, playing a different song. “Your voice is amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like it before.” Seira looked at me with her brows a bit furrowed, a questioning look. Though it shortly after faded as she started singing again along to the guitar, and we just went on like that. I’m not sure exactly how long I played and she sung, but once we looked out it was already pitch black outside.

“Whoa.” I gasped, only now realizing how late it had gotten. I put the guitar back in the case, smiling at it.

“You know, I used to be in the music club. We used to play all the time, we even had lead singers and did little performances.”

“Why’d you stop?” Seira asked, unexpectedly curious.

“I didn’t think I could make a living or it, I guess. Or maybe I thought it wouldn’t last. I’m not sure. I do regret it a bit though, but maybe that’s just because of nostalgia.” I snickered.

Putting the case away, I continued “I eventually just went to university and studied something average. While my band members went to music colleges and pursued their dreams, I got stuck in some kind of limbo. Doing what seemed like the best was equal to what would give me enough money and happiness to live on, for me. I saved up enough money to start renting this apartment.” The curtain now covered the guitar case again, I gently went to sit on the bed while looking out at the city visible from up here.

“I always thought of this as my holy sanctum. This place just for me. Letting someone in took a huge load of courage.” I said, turning around to smile at her. “I’m glad I did though. I thought about this today, but I’m not sure if I could really go back to just living by myself like before. I guess that’s a selfish thing to say, huh?” Seira looked at me in silence, listening to what I was saying.

“If you ever do want to leave, you’re free to of course. …I’m exactly sure who you are or what happened to you, but I’m sure this place can be a place for you to feel safe at. The same way it has been my safe space.”

I turned back to look at Seira, who at some point started to cry, making my eyes widen in shock.

“I’m sorry…” She said, wiping her nose.

“I know it might seem like I’ve been using you, but I’m really not… Or well, maybe it looks like that to you and others but…” I gave her a tissue because her nose started to run really heavily so she just kind of stuck the tissue in there and continued talking like that.

“I like being here. With you. I’m sorry for having done things you might not have wanted, I tried to always make sure you were okay with them but I’m not that good at talking and you might have just done it because you felt sorry for me, so I’m really sorry for that.” She looked so small when she said that. My hands reached out to her and I took her in my arms, holding her like that. After some time she buried her head in the crook of my neck and slid her arms around my waist.

“Thank you.” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. I was glad she said something about herself, about this situation. Even if this wasn’t about what had happened back then.

From there one, Seira opened up more and more, revealing what seemed to be herself. Her true self. The person she had just met that was crying and shivering, barely able to walk, was not even a shadow of the true Seira.

A bit unexpected, but if I had to describe her personality; it was fierce. Like the kid at the playground that stood on top of the slide and yelled that everything was his? That was Seira. Energetic, joking around a lot, always finding a way to do things. Except cooking.

At some point I forbade her from using the stove, out of fear that she burned the entire complex down. When I came back home late once she had made surprise dinner. I remembered what I bought from the store yesterday, but this looked absolutely nothing like it. Everything was pitch black. I still ate it, and it tasted surprisingly good. But still, I’d rather not come home to a burned down complex.

Seira had also started saying “Welcome home” instead of welcome back, to which I’d reply “I’m home.”

It was this little thing we did.

She even started getting small jobs here and there to earn some money. Stuff like delivering newspapers and packages, handing out folders. Everything started to feel right.

And then it all fell apart.


	4. Four

It was one of those normal days where I was working at Patisserie Mullin, surrounded by the many customers that walked in and out of the door, returning back to their daily lives after stepping inside for a bit and buying some of the many pastries we had to offer.

Over the years my boss, Mister Mullin as some called him, had made and baked many of these little inventions. Some that people loved more than others, but they were all one by one perfectly made and designed.

I didn’t do much else other than putting them in a box or bag and selling them, making a bit of small talk with the customers, but I always admired the work he and his wife put in these little pastries and the shop. Mister Mullin did give me a few lessons on making some of the pastries, which turned out a lot better than expected. He joked around saying I would soon be the one making all of these and he’d be here selling them.

Stepping out of the warm shop after bidding goodbye, the bracing wind enveloped my skin and unprotected hands. Without me noticing, it had quickly become winter. My lips were a bit chapped and my hands had a grayish tint to them from the cold. Putting them in the pockets of my coat I walked opposite of the direction I usually go right after work.

Seira was still at work at her newest job, where she took on the late night shifts. I walked to the city square nearby, where a huge flurry of activity was. Seemingly not the only person to have the idea to visit this place I walked around a bit, on my way to get a warm coffee at the café I usually went to, the one thing the patisserie didn’t have. They did have chocolate milk and tea, but in the end the boss never really wanted to focus too much on beverages.

The line started outside, with people from all over waiting to order. That the café was a well known place was something I knew, but the sudden amount of people come here was most likely influenced by the cold weather, having people seek warmth in any way they possibly could.

It was the kind of weather were you wanted to get home as quickly as possible, yet wanted to stay outside a bit longer just so you could be happier once you got back to that warmth. That, and the dozens of lights outside hanging from buildings, trees and lantern posts made you stick around just a bit longer.

The city square had huge panels covering the fronts and sides of buildings, with advertisements from everything being lit up on them. New products such as phones, televisions, limited drinks and food, clothes, but also events with the dates, and sometimes important news messages.

I had been staring at the panels for so long while occasionally walking forward if the line moved that I hadn’t realized yet what exactly I was staring at. The lights had all become a bit blurred, unfocused. Coming back to my senses they started to form shapes again, slowly portraying a person.

It was Seira. With the word “missing” in huge letters under her face.

My eyes shot open as it finally sunk in. “Lead singer Seira – Rock-It! – Missing” And then an email and number from what I assumed to be the contact info to their manager or label, asking for any info on her.

The Seira that was living with me.

“Can I have your order, please?”

“Ma’am?”

I snapped out of it, quickly turning my head to the barista who looked at me expectantly.

“Oh, uh, sorry. One latte macchiato with caramel please.” She noted it down as I got my wallet ready.

I guess it made sense for her not to tell anything about herself if she was in that position. But why would she be hiding from her band members? If there’s a missing alert for her they probably don’t know where she is, if she’s alright. Though she could have messaged or called them. I’ve seen her rapidly texting something on her phone and then furiously putting it away several times, but didn’t really ask anything about it. Maybe I should have?

I got back later than expected, walking slower than usual. Seira was already back when I opened the door, her hair still wet from having showered not too long ago.

I decided on not saying anything about it. I might scare her away If I did that, and… something in me still hopes that she’ll tell me herself. Though I’m not sure what she’ll do once everything’s sorted out. Will she stay here?

We just sat around for some time like that, Seira ranting over something that happened at work today while I absent mindedly listened, focusing on both her and on what was happening on the TV.

Her hair had already dried by the time she let out a big yawn.

“You’ve been kind of out of it today.” She said, midway her yawn.

“Have I?” I asked with my brows a bit furrowed, Seira making ‘a bit’-gesture with her hand.

“Is something up?” She asked again, with a concerned look on her face. I smiled.

“Not really, just a bit tired from work. And I walked around a lot today, went all the way to the city square to get some coffee.” My reply caused a slight change in her face, one that already looked concerned before but now had another concern. She opened her mouth to say something, pausing. My head turned around as I heard two knocks on the front door.

“This late?” I asked, not expecting anyone. Seira had closed her mouth. Walking over to the door I checked on her before opening, unable to see her face as she was holding her head down. Just like when we met for the first time.

As soon as I opened the door a whole group of people stormed in, one of them turning my way and suddenly kissing me on the lips with a mischievous look on her face.

“Hehe, she was right about you being cute.” She said with a grin, her bright red hair standing up.

“Wha-??” I stuttered, not having noticed that Seira had stood up and suddenly grabbed the grinning girl by her collar.

“You-!!” Seira hissed, receiving a chuckle.

“Mad I kissed your girlfriend?” Seira let her go as her face turned bright red and looked even angrier than before, the girl flattening her shirt again with her hands obviously not intimidated.

Another girl, the tallest of the group with sleek black short hair laughed, putting her hand on the redhead’s shoulder.

“Alright alright, chill down guys. That’s not what we came here for.” She looked at me with a smile. “Mind if we borrow Seira for a bit?”

I had already recognized these people as soon as they came in, but it now finally made sense to me. They were Seira’s band members, also appearing on the panel where the missing alert came on. Rock-It? I turned around to look at Seira, who was standing behind me with a mix of a scared and embarrassing look on her face, not wanting to face them.

“…You guys have a lot to talk about, right?” I gently smiled at her as she looked up with a shocked expression.

“You know who I am?”

“…I saw a report on one of the panels at city square today, but I wanted to wait for you to tell me.” Seira had known. She knew that there was a missing alert on her at city square. That’s why she looked so scared when I told her I went there.

Seira looked like she was about to tear up, storming out of the door with her band members staring at her.

“Well then, we’ll be off!” The red haired girl cheered, walking off with a short girl with bangs. The tallest girl stayed behind, letting her eyes scan over the apartment.

“Hey,” she said looking at me, “you play guitar?”

“Oh? Ah, yeah.” The guitar was standing next to my bed, instead of being behind the curtains like usual.

“Do you want to join our band?”

“Huh-?”

“Our guitarist… recently left, so we’re looking for a new one. You’d be able to play with Seira.”

I looked at her with a dumfounded expression, joining their band?

“Ah, sorry for just jumping on you like that, it’s normal if you don’t immediately have an answer.”

“No, uh…” I stammered, scratching my head. “I appreciate the offer, but no thanks.” The girl looked up with a surprised expression.

“I like playing the guitar, and I like Seira’s singing but… This is enough for me.” Back in highschool I wanted nothing more than to play on stage for an audience, but now… “I’m happier just looking from the sidelines. Being able to support her from here.Oh! I do wish you the best of luck with finding a guitarist though!!” I said a bit too loud and formally, the girl just staring at me before she bursted into a loud laughter.

“Huh? Did I say something funny?” She wiped a tear away, letting out a few more laughs before she seemed to calm down a bit.

“Oh man.” She gasped. “You know, back when we started out it was just the four of us. Seira, Celeste, Kei and me. We already had a lead guitarist but were looking for another guitarist, and at the same time Seira was buddying it up with someone she met back at school when she still went. Back then, we were already quite big though, so Kei, Celeste and me feared she was just getting close to her in order to get in the band as guitarist. But it was clear Seira liked her. Well,”liked” her,” she paused, “at some point she just started to completely depend on her. This girl became her whole life, that’s how much she liked her. So ofcourse, we let her in the band as our new guitarist.”

She looked away, turning her face to the windows.

“Man, she certainly didn’t lack in the whole skill area. But that was about all that was good about her though. Seira refused to believe it but she really was being used by her, manipulated. Now that she was in the band she didn’t have a use for Seira anymore, so as soon as we started getting together for band practices she started bringing boyfriends over just to make Seira back off. And from there on she kept finding other ways to hurt her, to scare her off. Sleeping around with guys and then messaging her to talk about how it was, calling for hours when she had a break up so that Seira consoled her. She kept her close at all times just like a friend would, but at the same time hurt her by everything she did. Even when she died. The memories of her that she left behind, all those traces that reminded you about her kept on hurting and haunting Seira. It just always found its way to her.”

It took a few seconds to take that all in, leaving my face in a shocked state.

“Ah… Right, she didn’t tell you. The whole reason she even ran away in the first place was because we were discussing looking for a new guitarist, and she got angry at us for not “caring that she was gone”. How could we?” She bitterly scoffed. “I know it’s terrible but, we were probably all happy she was gone. Relieved that she wasn’t around any longer. After everything she did to Seira, after all the trouble she knowingly and intentionally ut her through. But the pain of losing her still made her unable to see that, so she flipped out on us and stormed out of the bar we always hang at. And when we went out to look for her, a little birdie had already found her.”

Crap, that’s about me isn’t it. My cheeks burned up as I looked the other way. “That’s my fault isn’t it.. I didn’t realize she was with someone, sorry…”

She let out another laugh, patting me on the back. “Don’t worry! In fact, thanks. She looks a lot happier now than she has been in ages. Even with all the tears! Anyways, I’m glad you turned my offer down.” She said with a smile.

“Oh?”

“It shows you didn’t just get close to her to get this position, like she did. We don’t want her to go through all that again.”

“Oh, right. Well… To be honest, I actually didn’t really know who she was at all, when we met.”

She silently looked at me without blinking for a few seconds before (again) bursting out into loud laughter. “What?? That’s hilarious!” She said, banging on the door.

After having calmed down she wiped a big tear away, turning back to me.

“Well, I’ve kept them waiting long enough but I’m glad we had this talk. Please take good care of her.”

I smiled at her as she left. I will.

And as more days went by, the realization that Seira wouldn’t be coming back soon got bigger and bigger. What felt like my holy sanctum just for me now felt lonely, a space too big for just one person, having to cook for one, doing everything by myself again.


End file.
